DATE NIGHTTTTTTTT! Ever since we moved to Nebraska, it has been difficult getting a babysitter. It's hard to think that we actually have to pay someone to watch out children so we can go pay someone else to eat & then go pay someone else to watch a movie. I mean, we used to live in Arizona right next to Hunter's parents. We could call them at 5:00p.m. on a Friday night and ask them to watch the boys. it was convenient. it was cheap. it was all around awesome. It's a little more difficult planning ahead and paying more money we don't have to someone (oh, school loans) ! But it's oh, so worth it! We had a great time this last weekend talking & laughing & celebrating our little life.
October 05, 2015
July 27, 2015
I’m sitting here at 3:00p.m., in my spit-up covered pajamas, trying to pinpoint the last time I showered. The last time my hair wasn’t in a greasy, week-old topknot. The last time I sat down and ate a nice meal by myself. The last time I had a full night’s sleep. Or read a book. Or washed our bed sheets. Or went grocery shopping alone. I would really like to go grocery shopping alone.
For the life of me, I can’t seem to remember those things… but what I do remember is the day-to-day humbling moments of motherhood. You know the ones I’m talking about. The moments where you realize you can’t do this motherhood gig by yourself. The moments that bring you to your knees. The moments that help you realize how lucky you really are. I had one of these little humbling moments just the other day and it’s one I will never forget.
It was a horrible, no good day of motherhood. I mean everything & anything was going wrong. I just had to get out of the house so I grabbed my car keys and my boys and didn’t look back. This drive landed me at the grocery store looking for some kind of sugary relief. Riggins kept trying to stand up and jump out of the cart. Gibson wouldn’t keep his binky in and was crying non-stop. I kept getting looks from people—you know those “I feel so sorry for you” looks.
I was about to throw in the towel when a middle-aged woman, heaven-sent for sure, walks by me and warmly smiles. We made eye contact. She stopped and put her hand on my shoulder. She said, “Always hold those baby close. Treasure those boys with everything you have. I could never have children of my own. Never let a day go by without telling your boys you love them.” I’ll never forget the feelings I felt in that moment. I was humbled. Oh, so humbled. I can’t believe how selfish I had been. I was taking it all for granted. Every. Single. Minute. Of. It. Having struggled with my own miscarriages, I felt a small portion of this woman’s pain. I promised myself that I would be more grateful for all the moments I have with my children—even the most difficult ones. I promised myself that I would always hold them close.
I’m so grateful that the Solly Baby Wrap allows me to hold my babies close anytime I want. There is a special bond formed when your baby is so close to your heart. I want both of my boys to know that they are the best things that ever happened to me—even on those horrible, no good days.
Oh motherhood, you are humbling in so many ways!
March 10, 2015
To my boys:
Nothing can prepare you for becoming a parent. No book or magazine or stories from other parents. It is truly incredible how unprepared you really are. How unprepared I was. I can’t believe how much love I had for both of you the second you were born. This feeling of wanting to always keep you safe and to never let you go. To look into your eyes and tell you every minute how much I love you. I think about you about a million times a day. I worry about you every time you fall—I want to take away all the pain you feel. I think about your future and how I can help you now to become the men Heavenly Father wants you to be. I love you with such intensity and passion that sometimes I feel like my heart will explode.You both challenge us with every new phase, and every single development. You both love our kisses. Your smiles melt us. Every time.
Being your mom has changed who I am. Changed the way I think and how I see the world. It’s changed my priorities and goals. It’s changed how I think and the decisions I make. You’ve given my life color and depth and meaning and dimension.
Please know that I will love you everyday and forever with all of me. More that I knew even existed.
Photography by my dear friend, @sallymae
March 09, 2015
June 20, 2014
A few things I love about you.
-how you double fist your food
-your cheeks. Enough said.
-your 6 teefers
-that you can climb up + down the stairs safely
-when you put things to your ear and say, "ello". and then you act like you are jibber jabbing to someone!
-how you lay your head down on your pillow when we put you down for a nap or bedtime
-when you say uh-oh + all duh + dog + mama + dada + shoe + ball
-that you light up when dada gets home from school
-when you snuggle for approximately 5 minutes when you first wake up
-that you clap, raise your hands in the air, point to your noise + mama's nose, shake your head no, point to things, and can sign eat + more
-your little adventurous personality
You truly have made me such a happy mom!!!! I love you to the moon + back and can't imagine life without you!
April 17, 2014
My family. These pictures make me weak in the knees. I can't explain in words how grateful I am for this little family of mine. This family is the greatest gift I have ever been given in my whole entire life. These people bring me so much joy. Indescribable joy. I really have never felt real joy until the moment I stood beside Hunter on my wedding day. Until the moment I was in that hospital holding Riggins for the first time. This happiness is more than I could ever put into words. These people---these people of mine are my favorite part of me. I'm sorry for the radio silence on this lil' ol' blog of mine. To be honest, I don't really have a good excuse. I guess we have just been too busy living life than finding time to write about it. I have been recording special Riggy memories in my secret journal of mine---one that Riggins can read when he is older and hopefully he can understand a small portion of how much I love him. Sometimes we just need to live life. We don't need to post about it for the world to see. We don't need Facebook or Instagram or any other form of social media to make us complete. Sometimes, we just need to enjoy the moment in our own element.
Bask in our own magic.